Ladies and gentlemen...and lowlifes.

I just want to go on record now, so when things turn out exactly the way I'm predicting, you can all go back and say, "Wow, Justin was right".

LOST will end as follows-

Whether it is by Jack detonating a bomb so that the plane never crashed on the island, or by other means, the show will end with all of the original passengers waiting for flight 815 in the airport, only the flight will be delayed or cancelled.

They will never board the flight, they will never crash land on the island, and they will never have the experiences that have taken place over the course of the show.

HOWEVER, once the writers pull it together, (and perhaps read this post), they'll realize that the simple Newhart, "it was all a dream" ending will be lost on today's media savvy ipod babies with limitless appetite and non existent attention span, therefore they will have to throw them a bone so to speak.

So here's what will happen -

Barring death, everything that would have happened (and in fact did) on the island will happen off island...kind of.

Confused? Let me assist.

Jack will still meet Kate and fall in love.

Jin will stop being a dick, learn English, and be cool to Sun.

Etc...

I cannot tell you exactly how this will happen as I do not know, and as evidenced by the last two seasons of random occurrences punctuated by Locke's creepy stare and Ben's Andrew McCarthy impression, neither do the writers, but I can tell you it will probably look something like this.

INT. AIRPORT - DAY 

Jack argues with the woman behind the counter, who insists that he cannot bring his father's casket on the plane. Suddenly, A VOICE comes over the monitor.

WOMAN'S VOICE

"All passengers for Oceanic flight 815 to Los Angeles, that flight has been cancelled, please see the ticket counter for further information".

Upon hearing this, KATE makes her way over to the ticket counter where Jack is standing, having just heard the announcement.

KATE

I'm sorry, did you say flight 815 was cancelled?

Suddenly, as if he's hearing a familiar voice (but how could it be?), Jack spins around, where he sees Kate FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. Their eyes LOCK.

KATE

Do I know you?

________

You get the picture.

The flight is cancelled, they get to talking. Take a later flight, convince the guy in the seat next to Kate to let Jack sit by his "new friend", and lo and behold, after the long flight from Sydney to Los Angeles, there you have it. The seeds of love have been sown.

Except for one thing.

SHE'S HANDCUFFED TO MARSHALL EDWARD MARS.

So since no one except me wants to see Kate go to jail upon returning to Los Angeles, they are going to have to think their way out of this one.

But basically, ALL of the relationships that were formed on the island, and all of the intended destinies that came to fruition as a result, would find their way into being Off Island. (Are you listening Lindelof and Cuse?)

Example - Sayid and Shannon would either meet in the Sydney airport or on the returning flight after 815 was delayed, same goes for Libby and Hurley, Claire and Charley, et. al.

Oh yeah, and somehow Locke could walk.

What this scenario doesn't factor in is the fact that Sawyer would never meet Juliet, Desmond would still be pushing a button and Penny would never find him and have little Charlie. I don't even want to get into Michael and Walt.

You get it, I won't cover every survivor. (Of the original crash, not the cover up/fake crash and those killed on the Island)

I'm sure they'll let me down, and it won't be the first time, (Cause believe me, I wanted Shannon and Boone to have sex the moment I knew their backstory), and though nothing would bum me out more than having to see big Charlie alive and kicking, I'm sure it's the only ending they can conceive that will make all the geeks and casual viewers happy.

So you heard it here first....

Part Newhart, part Wizard Of Oz, part Back To The Future, part Chances Are, and part Dallas, some will be pissed, some will cry tears of joy, and some of us will just cringe when Sawyer and his slumpy shoulders calls someone a pop-culture tinged name, Jack makes his last Jackface, and Hurley utters his last, "dude".

Justin Warfield

5/11/09