Let me clear my thrrrrrroat!

I have set a goal that I will ride my bike to this event.
I wasn't able to go last year, and I heard it was epic.
My buddy Dan Druff won Best Pre-Unit, and everybody from SoCal in the moto world came out. This one promises to be even better. Check it out.
Now I just have to finish this god damn bike.



Babe Ruth.
From Northern England in the early 70's, a ruling rock band who recorded the classic break,
"The Mexican".
Essential.




The album artwork is simply incredible.





While the recorded version is my personal favorite, this is just ridiculous.





Max Cady, a total badass, and my role model tattoo-wise.
I'm not kidding.
Although I'm drawing the line at, "Loretta".





Though drastic and mean,
it really sums up how I feel when people push their vegan politics in my face.
If you don't want to eat or wear animals, fine, that's your choice, fantastic.
But don't feel like you have to tell me about it. Really.
It doesn't make you punk rock, and it doesn't make you Morrissey.
It just makes you vegan.
I don't rant about steak and ribs and how I wear leather,
so why do you have to politicize your seitan?
Cause the more you talk about it, the more it drives me to becoming Ted Nugent.






Still my dream car.
1969 Chrysler 300, though I wouldn't kick a 70' out of bed.





Saw the arabparrot at my boy DJ Adam 12's bday party at his 1985-1995 hip-hop club, Afex.
We may have made the no-fly list.





My boy Aaron Rose is kind of a fucking genius.
These are his new kicks he designed for DC.
Soon those crispy chocolate brown bastards on gonna be on these feet.





The new HD Forty Eight.
I think I'm feelin' this.
Not sure yet.
Wouldn't turn a free one down (Hint x 2),
but I'm looking forward to seeing it in person.
One thing is for sure, if I got this and took it over to Evil Spirit, we could definitely turn it into something special.





The best.





I should have covered this on the day of, but it's not about breaking the story, it's about experiencing life and writing about it, sometimes as it happens, sometimes after. For me, mostly after.
Last month we lost a man who was arguably one of the greatest writers of all time
For me, it was Nine Stories that drew me into the mind and the world of this American treasure, but in the end, Franny And Zooey still holds a special place in my heart.
If you are dating a girl and she doesn't like this book, run.






Terry and Donald.
I dig these guys a lot.
Nice to see them together in a pic.
Besides not being able to see your friends,
the only thing that sucks about living in LA is it's not New York.





Lost is back.

Alright, stop what you're doing, cause I'm about to ruin, the image and the style that you're used to.

First off, yes, I am a grown man and I watch The Hills, so let's just get that out of the way first, all judgment welcomed.




Dear Justin Bobby (Née, Justin Brescia),

While most people I know think you are a douchebag, I disagree.

I find you fascinating.

It's not the ever-present arched eyebrow, it's not the "just woke up" mumble, it's not the distant "I don't give a fuck" attitude, and it's not any of the other affectations that wow the under-20 set who tune in to watch the Paramore soundtrack intercut with Brentwood drama that passes for a television show.

What I am referring to is just the entire phenomena that IS Justin Bobby.

I for one as a heterosexual man nearing forty (four years, but who's counting), can view you from a purely academic angle, and enjoy what you bring to the show; good hair, humor, conflict in the hearts and minds of these tormented women, and what I'm sure is referred to in table readings (cause no one believes it's unscripted) board meetings, and the halls of MTV as, "that bad boy image".

To be honest, the only problem I've ever had with you was probably not even of your doing, but rather a bit of magical editing that transpired in an episode where you were surfing and you managed to take off on a wave Goofy Foot and end the ride doing an air Regular Footed. (And it wasn't switch, it was a stunt double, let's be clear).

I could tell you I don't like the frequency in which you display, as well as the choice in tattoo that you have, but hey, I lived through the 90's, and the only bad tattoo I didn't get was a tribal armband or a Chili Pepper logo, so I guess I can't say shit about the ITALIA plastered across your stomach. So that's off limits.

Basically I'm pretty much backing all your bullshit, I think it's all top-notch, I'm a fan, I look forward to a long and fruitful friendship, and if I didn't cut my own hair, I'd probably let you do it, so long as you didn't wash my hair, cause that would feel gay given the amount of writing I'm doing about you at present, dig?

But I digress.

I'm not what you'd call a hater, I'm actually here to help you.

No one minds the Harley with ape-hangers, the flaked out helmet, hell, we'll even let you have a pass on the overalls with no shirt on underneath, but when you started wearing top and bottom rockers with a center patch on your leather jacket, you just went too far, kiddo.

If you haven't had it broken down to you already, allow me to, purely in the interest of saving you a beatdown or potentially worse, cause while the guys from Maroon 5 may think it looks "bitchin", I can assure you there are some guys who hang out far from the swank locales you frequent who wouldn't find it nearly as amusing.

Right off the bat, a history lesson.

3 patch jackets are strictly for Outlaw clubs.

Period.

If you want to start a club with your homies, better to adhere to the rules of what are known as "Family" clubs, and have 1 large patch in the center of the jacket, otherwise, if you rock your patches broken down into 3 it's a violation of the code.

If you still don't know what I'm talking about, then let me expand. Top rocker = club, center patch = logo, and bottom rocker is territory.

(iffy)You could even try doing a top rocker and a center patch and see how that works out for you, but the 3 patch combo is a bold affair no matter how you slice it, and on this front you fucked up five different ways.

1st, by the design of your jacket you are claiming Los Angeles as a territory.
INCREDIBLY bold move, especially considering the heaviness of motorcycle clubs that operate in LA, and 2nd, you didn't check in with the predominant MC in the area to ask permission (one of the rules), and if you don't know who that is, you'll find out soon enough wearing the jacket.

3rd, you chose an existing club's colors for your rockers.
This one is actually kind of funny, because if I have to tell you whose colors red and white are, then you may be in more trouble than I thought.
4th, not only are you going to offend the guys who wear those colors you adopted, but ALSO the guys who don't like the guys who wear those colors on their cuts.
Kind of a lose lose situation if you know what I mean.
And finally, 5th, there ALREADY IS a Hooligans MC, based in NorCal, so unless you started a Los Angeles chapter, I guess it's a case of, "whoops".

Of course, I could be wrong.
There might be a heavy MC rolling the streets that I've just never heard of.
One that not only got the green light on flying Los Angeles on the bottom rocker, but also got OK'd to run red and white.
It could be, it's not like I'm the authority on such things.

The whole thing could probably be avoided if you changed the color of the rockers and eliminated the MC on the back, then you could claim ignorance when confronted as to why you were claiming "their" city as your own. But having the MC makes it a Motorcycle Club that operates in the city designated by the bottom rocker, and being that you ride a bike and aren't just some d-bag getting bottle service at Playhouse trying to look hard, that would be tough to play dumb while hanging from your apes at a stoplight.

If I were you, I'd make it a one-patch with the logo in the center and the name incorporated into the design, not as a separate rocker, and then take out the city altogether, but hey, that's just me, I like waking up in the morning and going to sleep at night.

Cause while the girls from Laguna and Stacey the bartender probably dig it, I think you'll find that if you ride with it on outside of West Hollywood, Sunset Plaza, and the occasional Neptune's Net run, you may encounter dudes that won't be nearly as stoked as Kristen.

Mothership connection, getting girls affection, if your life needs correction, don't follow my direction.

If you Google "Tiny", this picture comes up.
Not what I was looking for to help me shorten a web address.



A friend just scored this guitar.
The Hohner Prinz.
I always thought the little purple guy played an old Fender Esquire like the boss, but it turns out it's actually what used to be a relatively cheap Tele copy until Prince collectors jacked up the price and made them increasingly hard to come by.
The original guitar is called the H.S. Anderson "Mad Cat", but after Prince made it famous circa "Controversy", "1999" and most famously in the film "Purple Rain", Cort released it as "The Prinz", followed by Hohner's version, "TE Prinz", but with a different headstock after Fender threatened a lawsuit.
I'm sure Prince has a grip of these just sitting in some velvet covered room collecting dust, but unless I meet a great 2nd story man I'll have to wait till some geek who doesn't realize what he has decides he wants to clean out his garage on ebay.




Crack kills.



Please?



I've never been a particularly huge Smashing Pumpkins fan.
I liked Gish, and I kind of love Siamese Dream, and if hard pressed, I guess there were some good songs after that, though no whole album moved me after the first two, the thing is my gripe has always been his predilection for the screaming voice and the quiet, screechy, cracking voice that seemed to dominate everything after.
My friend is working with him right now and said he was the sweetest guy you'd ever want to meet. She and a few other girls I know have been hanging with him a lot while he's been recording, they've been taking some pretty great photos and documenting the recording in a way that's pretty interesting and revealing, especially for a guy so secretive.
Billy posted this on Twitter a few weeks ago with a caption that explained how this was THE (emphasis his) amp he had recorded Gish and Siamese Dream with.
Now I'm not fanboy, but I have to say, if there's one thing that was always bullet proof, it was his guitar playing and in particular, his tone.
Sometimes an amp looks so good you know it's gonna sound good, like the Marshall JCM 800 head on cover of Fugazi's Red Medicine. This amp is one of those. It also made me wanna drag mine into the control room and plug it in.





No one ever talked about how weird he held his mouth. If you don't believe me, watch The Lost Boys in the scene where he meets the Frog brothers in the comic shop and says "Lex Luthor hadn't even been intro-DEUCED".





Speaking of deuce - (And I swear I didn't even remember this picture followed, so no pun intended) - I recently found out that my friend and landlord is selling the house we live in, so I have to move. I have begun to look into buying with my wife.
One house that was listed on The MLS actually had this picture posted in it's listing.
Cause nothing says "Buy This House" like a used quarter-roll of toilet paper.

Can it be that it was all so simple then?

If AIR was an American band, this is what they would sound like.

It all makes so much sense now.

Little Darlings. Though it missed the 70's by a few months, I think it embodies the feeling of the late 70's more than the early 80's, which is more Meatballs.

A staple of the era for teen girls, and a dream flick for young boys who like myself were unaware that the boyish charm exuding from Kristy McNichol was hardcore lesbianism.

As former hottest chick of the decade Jodie was going wild in the streets of L.A. in Foxes, Tatum had gone from cute as a button tween playing for the Bears, to hottest chick on the screen who would later give even her father inappropriate wood.

For you trivia geeks, Cynthia Nixon, famous for being a cast member in the most horrible thing to ever happen to television which almost single-handedly ruined the way women think, shop, and speak - Sex And The City, is pictured just to the left of Kristy Mc.

And in the back row center is Alexa Kenin, a face you may recognize from numerous after school specials, Gimme A Break, Facts Of Life, and most famously as one of the mean rich girls who gave Andie a hard time in Pretty In Pink.

Tragically, she was murdered in her Manhattan apartment by her ex-boyfriend in 1986.

Pretty In Pink was dedicated to her memory.

On a lighter note, who's the chesty fox to her right?

Actually, strike that. I'm sure she's married with fat kids, has cankles and wears gunt jeans while bargain hunting grape drink at Big Lots!.

The real question is who's the smiley girl with the jew-fro in the back?

She's probably hot as shit now, living in Fort Greene and rocking the Stevie Nicks 2009 look, replete with feathers, ankh necklace, headband and whose sangria demeanor keeps her from being overly discriminative about who gets to see The Vajj.

It's always the sleeper, never the one you expect.

Though it seems like a shot snapped in the basement of 54, this is actually a living person blazing awesome in the present day.

Malik Pointer.

Photo gaffled from Geoff Moore's fb page.

Ladies and gentlemen...and lowlifes.

I just want to go on record now, so when things turn out exactly the way I'm predicting, you can all go back and say, "Wow, Justin was right".

LOST will end as follows-

Whether it is by Jack detonating a bomb so that the plane never crashed on the island, or by other means, the show will end with all of the original passengers waiting for flight 815 in the airport, only the flight will be delayed or cancelled.

They will never board the flight, they will never crash land on the island, and they will never have the experiences that have taken place over the course of the show.

HOWEVER, once the writers pull it together, (and perhaps read this post), they'll realize that the simple Newhart, "it was all a dream" ending will be lost on today's media savvy ipod babies with limitless appetite and non existent attention span, therefore they will have to throw them a bone so to speak.

So here's what will happen -

Barring death, everything that would have happened (and in fact did) on the island will happen off island...kind of.

Confused? Let me assist.

Jack will still meet Kate and fall in love.

Jin will stop being a dick, learn English, and be cool to Sun.

Etc...

I cannot tell you exactly how this will happen as I do not know, and as evidenced by the last two seasons of random occurrences punctuated by Locke's creepy stare and Ben's Andrew McCarthy impression, neither do the writers, but I can tell you it will probably look something like this.

INT. AIRPORT - DAY 

Jack argues with the woman behind the counter, who insists that he cannot bring his father's casket on the plane. Suddenly, A VOICE comes over the monitor.

WOMAN'S VOICE

"All passengers for Oceanic flight 815 to Los Angeles, that flight has been cancelled, please see the ticket counter for further information".

Upon hearing this, KATE makes her way over to the ticket counter where Jack is standing, having just heard the announcement.

KATE

I'm sorry, did you say flight 815 was cancelled?

Suddenly, as if he's hearing a familiar voice (but how could it be?), Jack spins around, where he sees Kate FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. Their eyes LOCK.

KATE

Do I know you?

________

You get the picture.

The flight is cancelled, they get to talking. Take a later flight, convince the guy in the seat next to Kate to let Jack sit by his "new friend", and lo and behold, after the long flight from Sydney to Los Angeles, there you have it. The seeds of love have been sown.

Except for one thing.

SHE'S HANDCUFFED TO MARSHALL EDWARD MARS.

So since no one except me wants to see Kate go to jail upon returning to Los Angeles, they are going to have to think their way out of this one.

But basically, ALL of the relationships that were formed on the island, and all of the intended destinies that came to fruition as a result, would find their way into being Off Island. (Are you listening Lindelof and Cuse?)

Example - Sayid and Shannon would either meet in the Sydney airport or on the returning flight after 815 was delayed, same goes for Libby and Hurley, Claire and Charley, et. al.

Oh yeah, and somehow Locke could walk.

What this scenario doesn't factor in is the fact that Sawyer would never meet Juliet, Desmond would still be pushing a button and Penny would never find him and have little Charlie. I don't even want to get into Michael and Walt.

You get it, I won't cover every survivor. (Of the original crash, not the cover up/fake crash and those killed on the Island)

I'm sure they'll let me down, and it won't be the first time, (Cause believe me, I wanted Shannon and Boone to have sex the moment I knew their backstory), and though nothing would bum me out more than having to see big Charlie alive and kicking, I'm sure it's the only ending they can conceive that will make all the geeks and casual viewers happy.

So you heard it here first....

Part Newhart, part Wizard Of Oz, part Back To The Future, part Chances Are, and part Dallas, some will be pissed, some will cry tears of joy, and some of us will just cringe when Sawyer and his slumpy shoulders calls someone a pop-culture tinged name, Jack makes his last Jackface, and Hurley utters his last, "dude".

Justin Warfield

5/11/09